2/12/2010 – Tidbits of Pondering by Amy Fitzwater

There’s restlessness that comes from sin, when you’re simply not where you are supposed to be due to disobedience.  Then there’s a restlessness that comes from discontentment, when you are focusing on what you don’t have rather than what you do, choosing not to be content in the state you are in.  This too can lead to sin.

Sometimes our restlessness is God drawing us to the hope He has called us to here while on earth—and we need to move from where we are and follow Him there.  Thus, often I have felt guilty and self-depracating when I have a restless spirit.  But there are moments, time when a restlessness comes on me that is inexplicable, a yearning for something that I can’t quite put my figure on.  After experiencing these moments and phases at different times, even in times where I feel I’m in the right place, right where God desires for me to be, I’ve enjoyed contentment, seeing it’s purpose …

I’ve pondered that maybe there’s a deeper, higher reason.  We are not home here.  When I long for adventure, freedom, wide open spaces, an open road…ultimately, I’m longing for my eternal home where there is adventure, freedom, perfection…defined I think this is why Montana, traveling, taking road trips, seeing and experiencing beauty, resonate so deeply with me.  So now, as the restlessness comes upon me, after a search of the heart and realizing there’s no obstruction there causing it, I look up and realize the ultimate ADVENTURE is still waiting.  My eternal home, final destination, is being prepared, and I will be complete.

… As I stood on the mountain top in Montana, surrounded by sky and mountain peaks full of color along with sharp and fluid lines that my eyes work hard to take in, the wind blowing my hair, the air crisp and clear, the beauty almost tangible as it flows around and through me—I throw my head back and breath deeply—and I smell it.  Freedom.  Beauty.  Meaning.  Ah, and this is just a glimpse, a taste, of what is to come.  That, dear friend, is what we long for, what we were created for.  After all, we began in Eden.

By: Amy Fitzwater